


Rumination

by Anonymous



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mythology References, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-16 03:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14803859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A cycle of punishment and atonement.





	1. Youth

Springtime. 

A season of renewal and rebirth. It is a time of the year that brings promises of beginnings and endings. In spring, the death caused by fall and by winter begins to fade away as the vibrant colors of reborn flowers and trees and grass begin to return and spread across the landscape. Nature is not alone in being changed. Humanity begins to take note and change as well as it feels the shift in seasons. For students, April brings forth a new school year. A chance to begin with a clean slate or to continue on towards their futures as usual. In March, a new direction in life is given to graduating students. The ones that finally graduate are allowed to begin their adult lives and choose their own path. It is supposed to be an exciting and frightening time in one’s life. In the springtime, endings and beginnings run together, creating a new world that is also old. 

How ironic. 

Rei was allowed neither an ending nor a beginning. It seemed that he was living in a world that had decided to defy its ending while it had also decided to defy its new beginning. It had been so long since the first time Rei graduated. He wasn’t certain of how many times he had actually celebrated the supposed end of his high school days, he only knew that he had done it many times before. At first, he didn’t even realize that he had already graduated countless times in the past. As time wore on and repeated, the deja vu he experienced became too surreal, too uncanny. He was somewhat of an old pro at graduating. 

“Do you really hate me that much?”

No one ever believed him.  
They would assume that he was just being an “oddball” like usual, playing some kind of joke that wasn’t even funny. Somehow it would hurt the most when his friends and classmates played along, not truly believing him, but still giving him false sense that he wasn’t alone. This time around, he didn’t care if they believed him or not. 

Graduation couldn’t come soon enough. The school year had been a taxing one for the students of Yumenosaki Academy. All he wanted was for the year to come to a close. He wanted to finally be at peace.


	2. Chapter 2

As he stood on the checkered floor of the school’s rooftop, Rei peered out at the well-maintained campus below. He could see the telltale signs that told him spring was on its way. Flowers were beginning to bloom. Soon enough the campus grounds would be filled with a plethora of vibrant colors, mixing into the green leaves that were already present. As he looked towards the brick paths of the school, Rei could see red roses beginning to reveal themselves amongst the path’s bushes. 

Once, a long time ago, he has been particularly fond of the roses that grew on campus. The red petals of the roses never failed to remind him of a certain someone. Rei thought he would never tire of seeing the roses bloom in the spring, but as time passed and repeated, he wished to never see them again. After spending lifetimes of seeing the same roses every spring, seeing the same of everything, no matter how hard he tried to change things; absolutely everything had become dull to the dark-haired teen. 

Upon delving too deep into his thoughts, Rei had the sudden urge to throw himself from the roof’s edge. Just as suddenly as the thought had come to him, he pushed the desire down, once again locking it away. He knew that ending his own life would be useless. It would only take him back to the start of the school year. He had tried committing suicide many times before, only to wake up alive in his bed on the first day of school. Without fail, no one around him would have any recollection of the time loop. His friends and family would always be completely wiped clean of the memories they made, for better or for worse. Time after time, the results were always the same. He was given nothing but another year and a feeling of loneliness. Rei closed his eyes as he tried to will away the thoughts and memories that often plagued him. 

As he stood with his eyes closed, a familiar laugh rang out as arms wrapped around him from behind, breaking him out of his train of thought. A soft gasp broke from Rei’s lips in surprise. 

“Ahhh, I got you!,” Wataru loudly proclaimed as he playfully shook Rei side to side, resting his chin on the other teen’s shoulder. 

Although he was indeed caught off-guard, Rei quickly recovered from his shock and responded with a smile, “Oh, of course, you are the only person that could ever hope to surprise me, Hibiki.” For a moment, the grip Wataru had on Rei ever-so-slightly tightened and it seemed as if Wataru had become still, like he was holding his breath. In a flash, the moment passed, almost as if it had never even happened. The cyan-haired teen’s grip had slackened back to normal. Rei was left to wonder if he had only imagined it as Wataru ignored his comment and began to randomly tell him all about the theater club’s next production. 

With Wataru’s appearance, a different set of thoughts came to plague Rei. 

He placed his hands onto the arms wrapped around him and hummed acknowledgements as he tried to keep up with the excited words of his friend. 

Wataru was a friend. Sure, Rei did not call the other teen by his given name like he used to, but they were still just as much friends as they were before. 

It was normal for friends to hold each other in this way, right? To have lingering touches between them. Surely, it meant nothing more. It couldn’t. 

Before he was doomed to live the same school year over and over, Rei never made any effort to get closer to Wataru than he already was. To Rei, the cyan-haired teen was just another friend, a very good friend like the rest of the oddballs were, and nothing more. Or he at least tried very hard to convince himself that what he felt for Wataru was purely platonic in nature. Even as he came to better accept himself, Rei found that while he still longed for more with his friend; he always ended up pushing his feelings away, choosing to ignore the millions of butterflies in his stomach. The other students already thought the oddballs were monsters and Rei did not want to add any more fuel to the fire. He had wished to be boyfriends with Wataru, but it had not been possible at the time with the war at Yumenosaki academy raging on. Even now it was impossible. Rei was too late. If he were to confess, and Wataru felt the same, it would all be pointless. Rei would still be trapped in a time loop and Wataru would still be dating Eichi. 

Regardless of his hesitancy in the past and in the present, there were still moments in-between the drama and the fighting when Wataru’s hand would slip into Rei’s and everything would feel okay, even if just for that small amount of time. Even if he knew that he and Wataru were not meant to be together. 

Before he could linger any longer upon his relationship with Wataru, Rei was once again pulled out of his thoughts by the other teen’s loud laughter. It seemed Wataru realized his captive audience was no longer listening. The younger teen released his grasp on the older teen and grabbed his hand as he began to lead him inside, animatedly starting a new conversation about his excitement for the return of the red roses that grew along the brick paths on campus.

**Author's Note:**

> https://mute.neocities.org


End file.
